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i think I want to end my misery but I am worried about the impact this will have on my close family. I feel like I have to continue to suffer in misery to spare their pain, but I am getting tired, and just want some relief.
The reasons include several years waiting to discuss some plastic surgery concerns with specialists.
Another issue I have been avoiding is difficult to discuss. This is about loss of feeling, in particular with my penis. I've had this issue for a few years now and think I don't deserve to be alive. I'm worried this will be perceived as dramatic, but if a guy is reading this, and suddenly you 'stuff' no longer works and you have no feeling... Contemplating ending things seems relatively normal, I think?
It took me a few years with bad anxiety, but I spoke to my GP about loss of feeing and various surgery concerns. I'm worried if I did end things that I may have said too much and my family might be able to find out the reasons why from GP or access my records.
I've no plans to do anything, but my emotions just feel all over the place. I feel exhausted with it all.
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Emis_Moderator w28012
Posted
Hi w28012,
We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments, then we apologise for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.
If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help- contact your doctor or go to the emergency department at your local hospital to get some help.
The Samaritans also offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.
Their contact details are https://www.samaritans.org/ or call them on 116 123.
You can also find contact details on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.
If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.
If you don't want to talk - you can text "Shout" to 85258 - they will also be able to help you.
If you are based outside of the UK.
The Samaritans is a UK based charity, but they also have suggestions for how you can access help in other countries.
Please have a look at this page https://www.befrienders.org/directory for worldwide numbers.
Your doctor or the emergency department in your country is also a safe space for you.
Kind regards,
Patient
w28012 Emis_Moderator
Posted
Thank you for the various links. I have been in contact with Samaritans fairly often by email for quite some time now, and have chatted with them again since posting here.
I think I'm just struggling as the new year approaches and I'm worried that I am
going to be stuck like this indefinitely. Broken.
I have had some tablets off the doctor which have got 'things' functioning again, but feeling/sensation is still severely lacking.
I don't feel I am at risk of ending my life as I am more worried the impact this would have on others, that doesn't mean I don't think about it everyday though.
michellefisher w28012
Posted
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